Balancing Marriage: Tips For a Successful Marriage
Establishing Balance in Your Marriage/Relationship
A union between two individuals is a necessary influence on society. They can be difficult to keep track of with so many differing inflection points abutting them. Couples must put effort in to stay together; for this reason, balancing marriage takes work.
Part of the tips for balancing marriage is learning to understand oneself through hard work. The most common mistake among couples is neglecting the individual needs of the partners, but ignoring individual needs will make it difficult for you to survive.
One area where couples can strengthen their relationship is avoiding or being open about shame and holds within marriage.
Marriage is often seen as easy, but to achieve a balanced marriage there are challenges. Unbalanced marriages lead to break-ups. If a couple could watch their relationship sink or swim, it would make social science insights less applicable.
There are six qualities you should have before getting married. They are independence, responsibility, honesty, bravery, compassion, and empathy. One of the important aspects of marrying someone is finding someone who shares your values. When you feel like you need more people to get your points across, it is an indication that this is not the path for you.
Things to consider when balancing marriage
How do you and your partner send/receive love?
Before you can balance with another, you need to determine what allows you to balance as a person. I highly recommend reading the book “Five Love Languages” if you need help determining how you feel loved. Early in our marriage, we agreed that we always take time during the day to make the other our top priority. However, we were making the other a priority in ways the other didn’t receive it. For instance, my love language is Quality Time. However, my husband’s is words of encouragement. So we would communicate with each other in our OWN love language, not in the language of the other person. The hard part is remembering you’re not the only one with an opinion, need or desire.
Date night is a priority for marriage, but not the backbone.
First, ‘Date Night‘ doesn’t necessarily mean at night, or at a fancy 5-star restaurant. When I mention Date Night, think of just a generic time block that you are both able to set aside during the week to just focus on each other. (This is a great time to really make sure to speak the other’s love language too). This time, you can rotate and change based on your schedules. The important thing is just finding the time that works for you both.
When you’re trying to balance your marriage, it’s important to remember that date night is a priority for your relationship, but it is not the backbone of it. Your marriage needs so much more to grow, thrive, flourish. But this time together is a very big piece to the puzzle.
Do not think of your marriage as 50/50.
Do you only want 50% of your partner? Does your partner only want 50% of you? Now, don’t get me wrong, some days I only have 50% to give. That’s not the point here. Your relationship/marriage should be 100%/100%. There is give and take, there is compromise, there are days you will have more or less to give, etc. But you want to put 100% into your relationship, and you should want your partner to do the same thing.
The modern American desire for a happy, engaged partnership can sometimes leave us with a frightening impression of marriage—as if it’s something static and static-able. A centralized view of adulthood as children progress, young adults enter adulthood, and life plan is for stability for the long-term has contributed to the perception of put-up relationships. By nature, bonding between two people is often unpredictable. However, as you focus on each other, and grow together, you will find your bond grow stronger than ever.
What are the benefits of having a balanced marriage?
Oftentimes when people enter marriages, they are unable to find that “one person who completes them.” Prior to meeting my husband, I had a pretty hard lesson in self-love. If I didn’t love myself, how would anyone love me? If I wasn’t a whole person, how would I ever find a whole person? (Remember, 100%/100%, not 50%/50%). Yes, my husband makes me a better person. My husband helps me enjoy life more. I couldn’t imagine my life without him. But, I don’t rely on him to complete me.
Your marriage is 1 marriage, you are together in that 1 marriage. But you are still 2 people with different needs and wants. As couples live, they are continually adding more factors into their lives, thus creating the need to balance themselves as individuals and as a couple together.